Stars Twinkle In The Brilliant Night Sky

Yesterday was the day, as I'm about to write. AusMat Graduation Night 2010, Night of a Thousand Stars. To some, it was a night that signifies the ending of a 17 month (July), 10 month (January) or a 7 month (March) struggle.

Different as the duration may be, one thing about the night remained the same for everyone. The night marked the end of an era and the beginning of another as each of us took a step into our new world and walked down our individual paths. Some of us may cross paths again while others may not. But to me, the night meant more than just that, it was also my first prom event since my high school one was cancelled. Enough bout that, time to get into the details. :)

Had to play the role of a driver that afternoon, fetched Mun over to Amanda's place. Then headed home to prepare.

Arrived at Holiday Villa about 20 minutes ahead of the scheduled starting time of the event. Ran into Marcus and Yoke Yee before attempting to locate the place.

(:

Managed to locate the hall but we couldn't go in yet. It appeared as though they were still preparing. We peered into one of the side windows and saw the lecturers dancing. Yes, haha! Later that night, we realised why.

Waited for Itianne, Amanda and Mun to arrive then we all went and joined Marcus and Jo in the reception hall for a camwhore pre-graduation photo session.

Finally, the time came for us to go in and find our respective places. If I could talk about one flaw of the night, it was how we were all horribly dispersed into random tables. Marcus and Mun at one, Jo and I at another, Kelly, Suqi and May Jing at yet another while Itianne and Amanda were lost in the crowd.

But alas, everything was still good. After a round of opening speeches and introductions, it was time to get into the good stuff.

A performance by the AusMat lecturers! This is why we saw them dancing earlier.

A journey through time as they displayed various dance styles from the century. Awesome performance since they've only practiced for about 4 days. (According to what I heard).

Then another performance from Mr. Varun and Hou Yin,


A short story about how your past can creep back out to haunt you.

Then, this,



After all the performances,

DINNER!

Not being that big fan of food, I'll skip the food reviews of the night. However, this can be certain. It was GOOOOOOOOOOD.

Round #2 of camwhoring photo sessions. (:


Alvin and Kelly, don't they look so sweet? :P


Jo! What are you planning? :O

Yong with Mun.

Jas, Mun and Itianne.

Some of us got quite hyped.

Stars of the night. (:

Whore brothers, in action!

The guys.

Now, all the lecturers that have played a part in shaping who we are today, I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. (:

Group shot with Mr. Varun, Bio lecturer.

With Ms. Sumathi, equilibrium shifting! :D

Mr. Paddy! Our favourite Physics lecturer :P

Our favourite EAL/D lecturer, Mr. Oliver! Say more, :D

Psst! Personally, he's my favourite lecturer. ;)

Miss Theeba, our Physics lab teacher.

Amanda and Itianne with Ms. Su Chen, 3A/3B Maths lecturer.

Sadly, I couldn't locate all of our lecturers, :( Too crowded D:

Now, to introduce all the people I've met this year. They mean the world to me, and some of them have changed me in ways I've never expected. (:

Itianne! Most impacting friend I've made, hands down. (:

Kah Mun, my dearest AusMat sister. (:

May Jing *looks around* WHERE ARE YOU??

Amanda, no nonsense and all logic. :P


Kelz! My pool cannon fodder. (:


Tai Ka Jie! Ringleader of the girls in our group. xD

Hoshinee!

Yoke Yee, my Maths classmate. :D

Alvin, he just eminates a gay presence, sorry I couldn't resist. D:

Shen Hui, super smart :P

Premjeet "TeaBag" Singh. You know the drill. ;)

Melvin, gay ass. LOL

Kuchiki! The sleepy one xD

Huay Ing, my assistant. (:

Daniel Chin.

Singaporian, Hock Yong.

Jot! You still owe me fish biscuits.

Melody. :D


My fellow Mr. Choong, Jack. :D

STEVEEEEEEEEN!

That's all the photos that I have with me, others I took are with others.

Then we went over to the nearby pool for one last group photo taking session.

Group shot.

The two SMs of the night. (:

TWINS! Itianne and Jo Keat.

Another group shot.

Group hugs and goodbyes. :(

Our whole group family shot, YES LA PREM YOU ARSE FINALLY SHOWED UP! With the exception of Itianne, that's us. (:

It felt surreal to be within the company of such unique individuals. Truly, it is a blessing to have had the privilege to have known and befriended you guys.

I love you all, each and every one. (:

Sadly, the night was missing one person.

Cornelia Watson, my favourite wall. (:

That night wasn't an ending, it was a new beginning for all of us. (:

Doodle #38

I am doing nothing but to honour my words. I said I would no longer be a bother, so that seals one output.

The only logical choice now would be to focus everything else on the other source of influx.

No sense.

No direction.

Truth #24: You Mean The World To Me

It's true, I ain't worth it. But..

Alas, tomorrow is the end, of everything. I was planning on smth but my friend advised me against it, so I guess I'll let it sit stagnantly. For now. There's absolutely a zero percent chance of ever fixing this broken pane of glass so I won't bother trying at all. Keeping my distance seems the more appropriate action atm. There is no way I can remove the stigma that exists.

See how tomorrow goes, I know what to watch out for now. Regardless, I'm one of those people who always thinks he's right, regardless of the circumstances. A little over analytical and paranoid at times and way too observant for my own good.

I love picking up the little pieces and forcing them to fit the image I've preset in my head.

Speaking of tomorrow, I gotta play the role of a driver again. Means I've to set out in the afternoon and get back in the evening only to leave again. Busy busy busy day. But I'm looking forward to see the nine of them. (:

We're just two people who are pretending to be friends because it would be inconvenient not to.
- Ted Mosby.

Funny how it hits home. Smack in the centre of it all, I'm not in a good disposition. Every ripple affects the people I care about but it can't be helped.

I love how everything is clearly aimed at me. As far as I'm concerned, the only way to start fresh is to remove everything from the past. I reiterate, everything.

Unrelated issue, that day was coincidental? I think not. :)

WACE 2010

First of all I'd like to apologize for the long break I've had since my last post. Was it long? I'm not too sure myself. But it's time to start writing again.



Well, WACE otherwise known as the Western Australia Certificate of Examination is finally over for most of the AusMatians of 2010. It's been a gruelling 10 months for all of us and I can't say that it really felt like 10 months. These 10 months of laid back intense studying accumulated into this one exam which could very well make or break no thanks to the scaling factor your results for the year.

Personally, I'm not too happy with my performance this time round. Talk about the best time to screw up your exams, the one time it really mattered. Ironically, the one exam I chose to stay in, Chemistry, was my worst. But more on that later, or not at all. Hopefully I can still achieve my target of ATAR 95 and above but right now, it's looking really bleak.

Sigh, today's outing cancelled. Was about to leave though. Don't you just hate it when you get cut off after building all the hype?

Hopefully I'll get a part time job over the month of December. Then I won't be wasting it away, like the rest of my life.

Farewell

Goodbye.

Just say it to me, tell me that in the harshest way possible.

Don't make saying goodbye any harder than it already is, please.

It feels like I've just ripped a part of my soul out.

The Final Hurdle

Yes, tomorrow will be my last official day in college and my second last official day as an AusMatian from Sunway University College in 2010. It's amazing at times how time just seems to pass you by effortlessly, or seamlessly? Either way, I can't seem to recall how the year just flew by me without even giving me the slightest chance to realize it. Apart from the suppressed memories, I can't remember anything much from the year, once again, as with every year I seem to complain about.

But now that I think about it, it's kinda sad how the bulk of the year revolved around a petty issue. Rather, THE petty issue. It's not often that the walls I've built around those thoughts come down. I guess everyone's entitled to have a complete emotional breakdown shed a tear or two every so often.

The first hello, the jokes, the rain, the laughter. They seem so long ago now. I really was a fool.

Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. I can go on and on, but let's not. Maybe it's just me, but the fact that my views on this whole thing changes on a daily basis and fluctuating between eternal hatred and unconditional forgiveness is really starting to get on my nerves. Which do I choose?

Back to more pressing issues... As the title implies, YES! Tomorrow is my FINAL exam for my FINALS this year and it is my FINAL official day in college. Yeah, sure I'll visit friends there every once in a while but it ain't gonna be no official day. By then, I'll just be another ordinary visitor, a passerby, another face in the crowd. Meh.

The only thing that stands between me, and what I really hope to be a clear blue and calming sky.. is Chemistry. A subject dearest to me. As such, I can only hope for the best tomorrow and pray that nothing goes wrong. It's the main subject that I'm banking on to pull up my already dwindling ATAR score. I've had bad experiences before with Chemistry, and they weren't pretty. *crosses fingers*

The riskiest part about this now is that I'm going into the exam with minimal preparation. There hasn't been much time to prepare as I had with all the other examinations due to the packed schedule. I only managed to squeeze in about an hour or two of Chem this morning before it was Bio all the way. Been focusing too much on the other subjects, Maths especially. Look where that's gotten me.

Unrelated, I can't believe I froze up. I wanted to open my mouth to speak but I just couldn't find the words. All I could do was watch it slip.

Another unrelated issue, after tomorrow. I never, ever, ever, EVER, have to see that face again (refer to conflicting emotions on how to settle this issue from above), at least not till that day. But I'll act out one last play, my final one as a person who once used to be a friend. Now, I'm certain I'm just trash to that person.

To all fellow AusMatians, good luck for Chemistry!! Especially the 9 people taking the exam with me, my dearest friends (and family) that I've had the privilege to meet and befriend this year. You guys changed the world for me. (:

Well, it's been a blast.

I don't regret AusMat one bit, cept for a couple of kinks. <3

Melancholic Redundancies

Amidst the chaos, I'll string together one last play.

I was always wrong to you, nothing I did could ever be deemed right in any feasible manner. Did you ever once tried to see things from my perspective? Oh sure, keep me around as an option, string me along telling me words I want to hear. Well, know that you achieved your goal. Even now I struggle to escape the stranglehold that you have on me. Suffocating every day, living through each moment takes every ounce of my willpower. I never thought I'd ever meet someone who manipulated people as good as you.

Time and time again you toyed around with my emotions. You placed people around me to watch my every move, knowing well enough I would make a slip. Yes, I almost always screw my life up, so what? Trying to steal pity from people with innocent looks, making me look like the one at fault was a no-brainer to you.

The only place for me to seek comfort is within the company of the few people I know I can trust. Everywhere else has turned into a desolate wasteland, waiting to lash out at my exposed soul.

And I've got you to thank for all of this. I thank you, with the bottom of my already dead heart. (:


Sigh, I think it's Maths getting on my nerves. This is the first time failing a paper seemed so real.

I hate you Mathematics 3C/D, and of course..


EDIT : Now I've got yet another reason to be thankful.

Thanks for killing my bag. You sure were thorough in what you do.

Doodle #37

Envy.

He's smart, well to do, and has someone to love.




This is suppose to be a seperate post but I'll just edit it in here, don't want to many posts cluttering up the page.

No, I don't deserve such praise. I never ever put in the nessecary amount of effort needed for any exams. To date. I've been relying on sheer luck, nothing more. Every time someone tells me I don't have to study, there's a numbing guilt inside. I'm nowhere near as smart as some of the people I know.

Which brings about the issue.

I really should study, as though my life depended on it.

Yet I know the moment I sign out, I'll start dawdling about, without a care in the world.

Sigh.

Doodle #36

Today was certainly not a fairytale.

It was rather monotonous, cept for the gunning Ling Ling down part. (Long story)

And so I sit in my living room, gazing at my laptop monitor as I retain a nonchalant attitude regarding the immense pressure that sits upon my shoulders.

I will study for WACE.

First thing tomorrow once my mind is awake.


I seriously hate, despise, abhor, and get seriously vexed when some people just can't shut up. Especially those with a really annoying voice. For someone of that stature, it's amazing how obnoxious that person sounds.

A Friend

This person holds a great deal of importance to me. Yes, it's a she. She is one of the closest person I've had as a friend, and sometimes more, this year. It's been quite awhile since I've last spoken to her in person and I'm starting to feel ever so distant.

There's just something about her that's so likeable, maybe it's her laugh, or her swagger. But just something, drew my attention and although I've known her for quite some time I had never really gotten that close to her until lately.

The Maths 3A/3B student. She's gone now. I go to all the same places but not a trace of her remains. I miss the times we studied together, I miss bullying her repeatedly, I miss her distinct laughter. All those times studying in the library.

I miss her.

M.


Hahah, random post. But then again, it isn't what it sounds like. (: