It's the holidays again.. Or have I already mentioned this? Meh, I ain't exactly concentration well. Have I ever mentioned how I screw up big decisions in my life everytime there's a long break from school, namely a week. Mm.. Maybe I already did.. Not that I care that is.. Just writing this cause I thought I really should update my blog since it's been quite awhile since I last wrote.. And note, I can't even remember when my last blog post was even though I've just seen the date right before clicking on the link to write this current one.
For some reason I've been having flashbacks.. Yeah, time sure flies by in an instant huh? 1 minute you're all nervous about beginning life as a schoolkid and the next.. You're staring at your last year in school and wondering whether you've left a mark on anyone you knew..
I think I was just watching tv.. If I recall correctly when BOOM, I started getting images in my head, memories came flooding back to me, and started playing.. Like some video, weird huh?
I recall being in Form 1, a time I barely knew anyone even from my own class.. I had lost contact with Gazi and practically every other classmate I once had from primary.. and of course.. the day Sam *mutters under breath*and* *.. came into class.. It was the mid of July I think.. It was one of the events that would mark a significant change in my life, for more reasons then one.. Sigh.
Then I remembered Form 2, the year I became class monitor, gawd I hated responsibility. And of course the way Gazi and Wk would harass each other everyday since they 1st day itself when they ended up seated next to each other. Those were the days eh? This was the year that set change in motion, ever since that day I had agreed to follow along to a certain event. Maybe if I had chose to stay home instead, I wouldn't have ended up this way. However at the time I suppose you could call it.. dormant? Or really really diminished, I would never had guessed what I was getting myself into.
The year was 2007.. It was PMR year for me and every other Form 3 that year. Met Ash that year. There's really little things I remember from this year.. The only few things that stand out are like.. Arm Wrestling competition in class and the price was "Teh Tariq with Breast Milk" LOL. Yes, that's what was written in Ash's book. Written by JW of course, he always comes up with this kind of crap. Then hahaha, teacher came in and caught the whole lot. Then there was English Camp. hahaha who could forget that? Probably one of the most fun events I've ever attended.
Form 4... Haha.. A year full of irony.. Sometimes I wonder why I ever picked up guitar.. and why did I accept a certain invite to play, which then required me to practice.. And of course.. out of ALL THE PEOPLE, they had to pick ME for that stupid task of being escort. Just because every single other person was either playing computer or ps2. Wow, just awesome. That was the day, the day I will never forget and will never be able to forget.. not at this rate. White collared t-shirt with a malboro logo on it, jeans. SOMEBODY PUNCH ME PLEASE. Being stuck for an hour in a spot, stationary, really wasn't good for me. Maybe it was the length of time, or maybe I had always taken notice, but whatever the reason was, there was no way I could prepare myself for what's to come.
2009, Form 5.. The present.. Wow things just went by in a flash. I couldn't even remember a single event from February up to July, guess my subconcious mind had practically died. The very last thing I could remember was.. Being taunted as I ran to the water station. If you don't know what this is about, then good. Stay that way. I was tired as hell anyway, no idea how I managed to get that energy boost... Or maybe I did.. Sometimes.. Will power conquers all. Meh.
It was a Friday, the past 5 years, it was always on a Friday, and in the morning. This being my last year, I thought I would have made an effort to at least finish in the top 100. Well, failed. As usual. Yeap, that was the very last memory I could recall before 7 months of complete ignorance and an indifferent attitude towards life. Guess things changed that day when I ran into a person at a bookshop. Cliche much? No idea what I just said.. But.. Yeah, I was slowly recovering.
Now? I'm finding myself falling back into my inddiferent attitude.. Please.. Don't let me go back there.. I've been through that and I never ever want to go through it again.. Yeap, this is when I came back to my senses. Well that's smth you don't experience everyday.
In unrelated news, I just realised how I could relate to these lines:
I'm in the catacombs of a broken heart where you used to be
when I loved you for all the reasons that you hated yourself
cause you were desperate and pathetic but just as beautiful to me
as the day you left and I became just a memory
If they sound familiar, maybe cause they're lyrics.. Sometimes I hate how much I can relate to certain lyrics. brings me back.. way back. Listening to this reminds me of the day I chose to stay till 12 midnight, just because I had wanted to make sure nothing would go wrong for a certain person. Wow that sucked. ==
Well I guess that's just the type of song I relate to. And I'm actually staring at that sentence laughing at the irony. I hate how a certain person's initials are so common, there's just no escape is there?
EDIT . Guess what? Today's date is... wait for it.. :
20092009!!
Kinoc, signing off.
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