Undang Pwnt

Colour test 8/8. Undang 49/50. OWNAGE =D

Fear. It's a word that's constantly in my head. I've learnt to live each passing day with fear plaguing my mind. I hate it, and yet I go through it everyday. I guess the stuff that happens to you makes you who you are. Sigh, everything's coming back. This is probably the 3rd time in the past year I had to rethink what's going on in my head.

I don't want to go through what I went through again. But for unexplainable reasons, I'm just drawn to remembering all the good times I spent. It's somewhat.. enticing and it has gotten a really strong grip on my emotional state of mind. Oh great, just great. What WK said got me thinking.. I do have an extra invite.. and somewhere in the corner of my mind, I want to ask that person..
"Yeah kiddo, dream on, it's never gonna happen" I gotta remind myself over and over and over again to put this behind me. I'm reopening scars, yippee.

Ever have the feeling.. You just got hit in the chest by a cushion of air. Fear and despair just roots you to a spot. Disabled and incapable of any sort of resistance, past memories just flood your head. Okay, maybe that's just in my case. But I'm really starting to miss.. Can I say it? Nope, still can't bring myself to.

I know she hates me. I have a gut feeling that she does. I could still remember that day I looked at her. It may have just been a glance, an unintentional one. But I still felt the icy cold stare pierce right through me. What have I ever done to let things end up like this?

Yeah, I just had to write all the crap down. There's really nobody I can talk to anymore. And keeping everything in just makes everything worse. Instability takes over. Guess that's just how life is, you win some you lose a lot.

Kinoc, snailing off.