Will it all be truly worth it in the end? When all you're doing is nothing more than a desperate attempt for a cause nobody really understands. When the consequences of your actions will bring nothing other than pain and sorrow to everyone you know.
The past is starting to pull me back in. Just goes to show there's no way to completely erase one's memories. My words contradict my action and thoughts, but yeah. I'm starting to care again, as much as I never ever want to again.
Edit. I can never hate her, she meant way too much for smth as petty as hatred. She just never saw that. Sigh. Being subtle never ever worked, she never had the wit to pick up any meaning in my words. Why am I writing this? Cause I know even if she does read it, she'll never even know it's about her. Every thought, every longing, every moment of agony revolved around her.
There'll be ups and downs in life, that's inevitable. What matters if you're able to piece together a broken soul and keep on going. I've learnt to do that and almost did. Yeah, till it all came apart again. Being sick doesn't help either, I can't think straight and I'm starting to lose faith in life. To quote lyrics from a song "This is just a story of a broken soul". Just know, if you fall, I'm going down with you.
Yes, I'm one fucked up kid, I've already been told a gazillion times. I made my choices and I've ended up this way, just goes to show I always make the wrong choices and soon I'll be making another wrong one.
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