Mm, just got back from hometown, woohoo! Finally reunited with my computer, hahahah. For some reason every single time I go back there, I'm somewhat inspired to write a blog post. Maybe it's just the fact that I have almost nothing to do there, except spend every waking moment watching tv (there's no 711-715 D:!) or studying sj (it was the only book I brought back).
So here we go.. again..
Your initial reply hit me undercover, I lost my head that night. I'm sitting all alone, feeling empty. So to speak, you had me shaking at the knees. If you had seen me at my best, would it have changed anything at all? Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort.
Now we're broken on the floor. Stab my back, it's better when I bleed for you. Did you think that I would cry on the phone? Do you know what it feels like being alone? Breathe for love tomorrow cause there's no hope for today. Please don't get me wrong, I'll never let this go.
I can't move forward while looking behind. Why do you do this to me? You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe. maybe it's best you leave me alone. I put my faith in you and you threw it all away. I'm losing half a year waiting for you here. You walk around like you don't know me. You treat me just like another stranger. We are broken, what must we do to restore our innocence? A weight is lifted on this evening. I let go but there's just noone that gets me like you do. Darkness turns to light, it ends tonight. I'll find someone new. Can't say I'm sad to see you, cause I'm not.
She ain't no beauty queen to me, I see through her smile. She's a walking lie. She's as cold as ice. So try your best to break me, you can't break a broken heart.
Give too much attention and I'll reflect your imperfections. Can't you see it's over? Now there's nothing left to die for. Don't struggle to recognize another coldly-heartfelt suicide.
You never told me that you meant to save someone, somebody just like me. Take me and let me in, don't break me and shut me out. This is just a story of a broken soul. No more disguise cause I realize I can't fit in anybody's arms.
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye? Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry. Maybe someday I will see you again and you'll look me in my eye and call me your friend. You were so much more than a memory. I've forgiven you and now I just miss you.
Here we go again. I'll keep you my dirty little secret. I've got a woman who'll put roses on my grave.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
And So We Go
Well.. for some reason.. the sense of paranoia that once haunted me is back. Ahuh, it's been gone for almost 3 months now.. and since it's back.. I guess it means I'm starting to get attached.. Like.. Really attached.. and my mind is playing tricks on myself, making connections from what I hear into whatever possibility that comes into my mind.. And that isn't good.. Sucks to be me huh?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Breadou's Next Top Baldie
Well it's the holidays, haven't done much. Didn't touch a book at all since it began. Yeah I know this is pretty ad considering I have SPM trials right after the holidays. :S
Been RO-ing everyday :X
There was an event last night. Everyone who joined had to be male :P and.. BALD. OMGTAFAKBBQ! Yes! BALD. LOL.
It was a modelling event. All you had to do was.. bring a male char, make it bald, and make it look nice =D Simple enough right? NO~! You also had to catwalk!
Mmhmm.. Haha, well that explains the post title. There were 2 rounds, and the top 3 from the 1st round had to play again.
So in the end...
Magick - 40 points
Me - 38 points :(!
Hisoka - 35 points
Ahuh, damn the judges for givin me such a low score. Why lar GM ask contestants to judge also? They all berat sebelah larrrr.
Been RO-ing everyday :X
There was an event last night. Everyone who joined had to be male :P and.. BALD. OMGTAFAKBBQ! Yes! BALD. LOL.
It was a modelling event. All you had to do was.. bring a male char, make it bald, and make it look nice =D Simple enough right? NO~! You also had to catwalk!
Mmhmm.. Haha, well that explains the post title. There were 2 rounds, and the top 3 from the 1st round had to play again.
So in the end...
Magick - 40 points
Me - 38 points :(!
Hisoka - 35 points
Ahuh, damn the judges for givin me such a low score. Why lar GM ask contestants to judge also? They all berat sebelah larrrr.
LoL so yeah, pretty pointless post. xD
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Bored
Seeing I had no internet, spent the day deleting almost everything that might lead back to my past. Lalalala, I'm almost completely free =).
I'm so proud of myself. LOL
I'm so proud of myself. LOL
Monday, August 17, 2009
Revelations from 10 to 1
10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 People Right Now (not in any order):
1. You're one of my closest friends, however weird that may sound. I've known you for years, since primary school. I know you can be an ass and you are one (LOL) but still, I'm glad for the times you actually took me seriously and listened and pulled me up when I was down.
2. I can't even begin to say how sorry I am, for everything that I've done up to this point. The time that I once spent with you, however little that might have been still remains the best of my life. I know I can be a tard and I never ever show what I mean and even screw up alot. It still remains the biggest regret of my life.
3. Haha, I still remember the 1st day we spoke to each other, we'd known each other for half a year before that (You should know who you are by now). It was one of the funniest days I've went through, heck, anything to do with you is entertaining and fun. LoLx. Don't know how boring my life would be without having you there (to feed as well LOL)
4. Hmm.. tsk tsk.. You.. The constant annoyance in my life who never ever admits your own faults. You don't know how much you've screwed up what I wanted to do. And yet, I can never be pissed with you for a long time -.- Watching you fail makes me feel better about my errors. HAHA
5. I'm glad I met you. The one I never really knew till the beginning of the year (or was it last year). Haha, I remember you 1st called me a weirdo, that was in a c'box. And now, you just call me emo. LOL. Thanks for listening when I needed someone to listen, and constantly reminding me how useless I am haha.
6. Hmm.. Basically I just enjoy your randomness. It never fails to make a boring situation somewhat fun and enjoyable. And let's not forget all the DotA games you left =)
7. The procake, why lar? You always make it look so easy to talk people I find hard to talk to. And of course, you remind me how sucky I am in some matters while you're breezing right through them.
8. Well I couldn't think of what to write about you. So.. you're an awesome DotA buddy LOL. Our lanes confirm own.. Till well.. We split lanes. That's when it all goes downhill. Gg.com
9. Meeting you changed me, well.. somewhat hahahhaa. Finally managed to get a grip on myself and pull myself together. You reminded me how some things are just worth the effort.. and practically turned me around.
10. I never really got to know you, was never in the same class with you. But you were there (at times, and very rarely indeed) to listen to what I had to say, although I'm pretty sure I got annoying at times. Hahaha, Paramore! Whoo! LoLx
9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I put everything off till the last minute.
2. I hate being reminded of things I try to put outta my mind.
3. Setting deadlines for myself always pressure me and I end up screwing up.
4. I wanna improve my guitar skills but never seem to find the effort.
5. I never really show what I mean.
6. My lack of confidence usually stops me from what I want to do.
7. I hold grudges, over VERY long times..
8. I tend to get panicky over trivial matters and is extreamly paranoid.
9. EPIC PARAMORE FAN. LOL
8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Willing to spend time with me.
2. Good sense of humour.
3. Knows how to cheer me up when I'm down.
4. Always truthful to me.
5. Puts up with whatever wrong I may have done.
6. GIFTS LOL
7. Knows my likes and dislikes well.
8. Respects me for who I am
7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. SPM
2. I wanna go to another conert so bad!
3. How life is unfair most of the time.
4. My past.
5. Current events shaping my final year at school.
6. Fear of failing.
7. MVP cards. LOL
6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep:
1. Wash face
2. Brush teeth
3. Log in msn on my phone.
4. Check my phone.
5. Pack my bag
6. Think about tomorrow's possibilities
5 Characteristics You Value:
1. Honesty
2. Loyalty
3. Sincerity
4. Love
5. Understanding
4 Songs to Describe Your Life Right Now:
1. Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls
2. The Reason - Hoobastank
3. Here We Go Again - Paramore
4. On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Screwed up my life
2. Meeting a certain person
3. Not listening to everyone who told me "You'll never succeed, just give up"
2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Make something of my life.
2. Become famous. LOL
1 Confession:
I've made my choices, and I hope this time it's the right ones.
Tag : Whoever
1. You're one of my closest friends, however weird that may sound. I've known you for years, since primary school. I know you can be an ass and you are one (LOL) but still, I'm glad for the times you actually took me seriously and listened and pulled me up when I was down.
2. I can't even begin to say how sorry I am, for everything that I've done up to this point. The time that I once spent with you, however little that might have been still remains the best of my life. I know I can be a tard and I never ever show what I mean and even screw up alot. It still remains the biggest regret of my life.
3. Haha, I still remember the 1st day we spoke to each other, we'd known each other for half a year before that (You should know who you are by now). It was one of the funniest days I've went through, heck, anything to do with you is entertaining and fun. LoLx. Don't know how boring my life would be without having you there (to feed as well LOL)
4. Hmm.. tsk tsk.. You.. The constant annoyance in my life who never ever admits your own faults. You don't know how much you've screwed up what I wanted to do. And yet, I can never be pissed with you for a long time -.- Watching you fail makes me feel better about my errors. HAHA
5. I'm glad I met you. The one I never really knew till the beginning of the year (or was it last year). Haha, I remember you 1st called me a weirdo, that was in a c'box. And now, you just call me emo. LOL. Thanks for listening when I needed someone to listen, and constantly reminding me how useless I am haha.
6. Hmm.. Basically I just enjoy your randomness. It never fails to make a boring situation somewhat fun and enjoyable. And let's not forget all the DotA games you left =)
7. The procake, why lar? You always make it look so easy to talk people I find hard to talk to. And of course, you remind me how sucky I am in some matters while you're breezing right through them.
8. Well I couldn't think of what to write about you. So.. you're an awesome DotA buddy LOL. Our lanes confirm own.. Till well.. We split lanes. That's when it all goes downhill. Gg.com
9. Meeting you changed me, well.. somewhat hahahhaa. Finally managed to get a grip on myself and pull myself together. You reminded me how some things are just worth the effort.. and practically turned me around.
10. I never really got to know you, was never in the same class with you. But you were there (at times, and very rarely indeed) to listen to what I had to say, although I'm pretty sure I got annoying at times. Hahaha, Paramore! Whoo! LoLx
9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I put everything off till the last minute.
2. I hate being reminded of things I try to put outta my mind.
3. Setting deadlines for myself always pressure me and I end up screwing up.
4. I wanna improve my guitar skills but never seem to find the effort.
5. I never really show what I mean.
6. My lack of confidence usually stops me from what I want to do.
7. I hold grudges, over VERY long times..
8. I tend to get panicky over trivial matters and is extreamly paranoid.
9. EPIC PARAMORE FAN. LOL
8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Willing to spend time with me.
2. Good sense of humour.
3. Knows how to cheer me up when I'm down.
4. Always truthful to me.
5. Puts up with whatever wrong I may have done.
6. GIFTS LOL
7. Knows my likes and dislikes well.
8. Respects me for who I am
7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. SPM
2. I wanna go to another conert so bad!
3. How life is unfair most of the time.
4. My past.
5. Current events shaping my final year at school.
6. Fear of failing.
7. MVP cards. LOL
6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep:
1. Wash face
2. Brush teeth
3. Log in msn on my phone.
4. Check my phone.
5. Pack my bag
6. Think about tomorrow's possibilities
5 Characteristics You Value:
1. Honesty
2. Loyalty
3. Sincerity
4. Love
5. Understanding
4 Songs to Describe Your Life Right Now:
1. Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls
2. The Reason - Hoobastank
3. Here We Go Again - Paramore
4. On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Screwed up my life
2. Meeting a certain person
3. Not listening to everyone who told me "You'll never succeed, just give up"
2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Make something of my life.
2. Become famous. LOL
1 Confession:
I've made my choices, and I hope this time it's the right ones.
Tag : Whoever
Sunday, August 16, 2009
When darkness turns to light, it ends tonight
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
YEAH FINALLY MTV *screams* Hahahaha! Thanks Chonek for the tix!! I owe ya BIG TIME!
Went to World Stage with Aly and Nabeel.
Aly and Nabeel with the tix. Yeah you can barely see anything. Haha!!
Once we got there, Jon, Hong Ye and Nirmal joined us. Nabeel then left with his friend. Looking out, apparently it started to rain. Then someone got hit by inspriration "I'm sooo gonna be sick, let's buy umbrellas, there's discounts on rainy days" Hmm... But.. Once we got there "No umbrellas allowed inside, omgwtfroflolbbq! There goes $$ (not mine anyway xD) Soo.. We hid them in a corner, dangling somewhere.
Look at the crowd.. and that's only about.. Nowhere near the actual amount once everyone got in.Split up with them once we got in, met up with Shi Lin and her tuition teacher along with several other friends.
When we just got in. Haha, I was the only one with a camera xD
By then, Estranged had already started playing. Our very own Malaysian band playing at World Stage, the support was phenomenal =DAfter that I think it was straight to Boys Like Girls, the crowd roared. LoL, basically it was ALOT of jumping.. and screaming of course. They played Love Drunk, Thunder, Hero/Heroine and The Great Escape. Whoo!
Anyone recognise him? x) He climbed the side pillar thing during the last song :O!
Then there was a short break.. So while it lasted.. Time to put my cam to good use xD
Haha then it was back to the action, Ray Gun, Pixie Lott, and many more. And of course another band I went to watch, HOOBASTANK! WHOOOOOOOO
And the reason is you <3>Then it was anotherrrrrrrr break. And this time we went to buy drinks. RM5 for 1 can drink or water omgwtfrofllolscamtothemaxbbq.
Then.. Drumroll please.. ALL AMERICAN REJECT. Whoo! Literally went nuts xD
Dirty Little Secret, I Wanna, Real World, Swing Swing Swing, The Wind Blows, what more can I say? My favourite performance of the night hands down.
Then of course, the final act Kasabian, sad to say I missed most of it. My back ached like hell and I was somewhat sitting, missing everything =(
Final group pic of the day.Overall, one of the best day/night of my life. Only drawbacks were the amount of tards moshing like nobody's business and also the huge number of smokers all over the place :S
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Distractions
Maybe I'ev just been glancing at a certain person too much lately, I tried never to care anymore. Did some things I thought was the only way I could truly forget. But.. Now.. Maybe I was wrong.. yet again.
Somewhere deep inside, I can feel my past feelings acting up again. Trying to kill it off once and for all, I've already been through hell, no need to repeat that. Some say that it's still ok to be friends, guess I even screwed that up.
For now, guess I've just gotta stick to the present, focus on the now. I've got way better things and people in my life then the person who made me a completely miserable and lifeless faggot anyway.
Exams, dying. Sigh. On the bright side, WORLD STAGE <3
Somewhere deep inside, I can feel my past feelings acting up again. Trying to kill it off once and for all, I've already been through hell, no need to repeat that. Some say that it's still ok to be friends, guess I even screwed that up.
For now, guess I've just gotta stick to the present, focus on the now. I've got way better things and people in my life then the person who made me a completely miserable and lifeless faggot anyway.
Exams, dying. Sigh. On the bright side, WORLD STAGE <3
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A day out
Went out today (looks at title, durh) to McD to meet Jon and Lillian. Took me awhile to find them, looked into Mcd and didn't see them anywhere. Was about to msg Jon when I spotted them hidden in a corner. LoLx. There was some Talent Show thing going at McD and they said "Maybe you might see Krystle. If it's a talent show then she'd probably be there" LOL. Spent about.. 30 mins to an hour stoning there just randomly discussing random stuff. Then Theresa showed up.
Haha, walked over to Alicia's shop. Which is beside Pizza Hut, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaay on the other end of shoplots. Great. Jon showed me the "staircase" to gawd knows what. D:!!
Anyways.. When we finally got there, Alicia wasn't there yet. And she was s'pose to come to McD at 10. *looks at time*, 11.30. Ahhhhhh. Spent another 30 mins or so stoning. again. sad. Hahaha. Only this time there wasn't any air-cond =( only had a fan. Messed around with my specs again, everyone seems to do that. :S
Around.. 12 or so, we just decided to wait for Aly in Pizza Hut, which Jon and Lillian had orignally debated about, lol. Aly showed up 10 mins later, with a very surprised look to see Theresa, haha. "Ooh let's order now. Where's the gay guy?" yes, she said that. I think. Then the usual chat, eating lunch, blablabla.
Went over to Jon's place after that. Spent about.. 10 minutes playing Transformers :D
Couldn't do anything cept for gettin beaten up by Autobots. :(
Ahahaha. Then logged in Ro for about 10 mins, b4 they bugged for for Chor Tai Di.
Everyone cept Aly played, cause she doesn't know how. HAHA.
So she went to Jon's comp and did some youtube-ing. Then, Jon kept changing the song being played in iTunes and we all blamed Aly for it.
"Aly, what are you doing?? Stop changing the song!"
Haha, that was fun.
Played cards over an hour. LOL. Then went back.
Haha, walked over to Alicia's shop. Which is beside Pizza Hut, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaay on the other end of shoplots. Great. Jon showed me the "staircase" to gawd knows what. D:!!
Anyways.. When we finally got there, Alicia wasn't there yet. And she was s'pose to come to McD at 10. *looks at time*, 11.30. Ahhhhhh. Spent another 30 mins or so stoning. again. sad. Hahaha. Only this time there wasn't any air-cond =( only had a fan. Messed around with my specs again, everyone seems to do that. :S
Around.. 12 or so, we just decided to wait for Aly in Pizza Hut, which Jon and Lillian had orignally debated about, lol. Aly showed up 10 mins later, with a very surprised look to see Theresa, haha. "Ooh let's order now. Where's the gay guy?" yes, she said that. I think. Then the usual chat, eating lunch, blablabla.
Went over to Jon's place after that. Spent about.. 10 minutes playing Transformers :D
Couldn't do anything cept for gettin beaten up by Autobots. :(
Ahahaha. Then logged in Ro for about 10 mins, b4 they bugged for for Chor Tai Di.
Everyone cept Aly played, cause she doesn't know how. HAHA.
So she went to Jon's comp and did some youtube-ing. Then, Jon kept changing the song being played in iTunes and we all blamed Aly for it.
"Aly, what are you doing?? Stop changing the song!"
Haha, that was fun.
Played cards over an hour. LOL. Then went back.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Realization
It feels good to be free. When I close my eyes, the face I see is a different one now.
Filled with hope and joy, no longer the sorrowful one that once filled my mind.
I guess I'd finally gotten over it. Haha, it took a hell of a long time.
=)
You were fake, I was great, nothing personal. I've wasted time, but you wasted lives.
You're falling, who's crashing now. I'm moving on, but you're left behind.
Filled with hope and joy, no longer the sorrowful one that once filled my mind.
I guess I'd finally gotten over it. Haha, it took a hell of a long time.
=)
You were fake, I was great, nothing personal. I've wasted time, but you wasted lives.
You're falling, who's crashing now. I'm moving on, but you're left behind.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Pressured
Well, it's been a rather.. "eventful" day, so to speak. Meh, feel messed up again, only this time it's about someone else. On the bright side, it proves I'm recovering from the blow I had once suffered. =D
Few new songs to take note of :
- Uprising by Muse
- Ignorance by Paramore
Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Both my favourite bands, both have new singles. Whee, and both are releasing an album soon.
Yeah, this is just awesome <3
Few new songs to take note of :
- Uprising by Muse
- Ignorance by Paramore
Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Both my favourite bands, both have new singles. Whee, and both are releasing an album soon.
Yeah, this is just awesome <3
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Meh
So it's the weekends again, or rather it's the end of the weekend. My family's back in Perak so I'm practically alone in the house. Yay? Been on9 since 9am. And all I did was game game game and game, for hours. gawd I'm so sick of it now, the mood to study is also gone. Yesterday was worse, 14 straight hours. owh amm eff gee!!
So tired!! The weekend passed way too quickly =(
School tomorrow =(
Pre-Trials in a week =(((((((((((
So tired!! The weekend passed way too quickly =(
School tomorrow =(
Pre-Trials in a week =(((((((((((
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