Thinking back, I have no idea when it started or how or even why. Those first two weeks, were probably the most comfortable time I've had in my life.
Edit: It's times like these I truly appreciate how you're in my life (:
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Again
I just feel so tired, I want nothing more than to sink into a comfy chair or lie down on my bed and doze off.
It could have been so much better. So much..
I'm just so sick of thinking. I need peace and solitude. Every passing second feels like pouring salt on unhealed wounds.
Depressing songs have regained their appeal.
Keep it all in, never let it surface. Don't worry, I remember what you said. :P
Negativity kept in check the past 3 days is rearing its ugly head.
It could have been so much better. So much..
I'm just so sick of thinking. I need peace and solitude. Every passing second feels like pouring salt on unhealed wounds.
Depressing songs have regained their appeal.
Keep it all in, never let it surface. Don't worry, I remember what you said. :P
Negativity kept in check the past 3 days is rearing its ugly head.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Dread
Something feels off, really off... Maybe it's just cause I haven't touched any form of work since the start of the holidays.
Regardless, I have a bad feeling about today.
Regardless, I have a bad feeling about today.
Monday, April 26, 2010
All I ever wanted
KELLY CLARKSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON WOOOOOO!
Anticipation filled me as I counted down the seconds.
Met up with Gazi, Limei and Jon at KK McD around 4. Had to belanja SOMEONE McFlurry, and order for that SOMEONE as well cause SOMEONE lazy to walk :P. Left KK around 4.50 and headed to Indah Parade, well.. I think that's in Bukit Jalil (is it? my geography's horrible) to meet up with Prem. Walked around in circles, and circles, trying to decide what to eat. Ended up at Esquire Kitchen, somehow. The waiter looked like WK O__O LOL. Same manner of speech, demeanor. The only thing he lacked to complete the wk look was the fail aura.
By then, Itianne and Amanda had already reached the place. They took the LRT. So we left the moment we were done eating. Then.. we.. WALKED to the stadium. Which wasn't THAT bad.. after how Limei EXAGGERATED the walking distance. It was prolly the same as my house to high school, less than 10 minutes worth of walking. And boy, were there a LOT of stadiums. Looked around.. "AHAH! That one! It looks the most fancy! Look! Foreign people!" LOL
So we just followed the crowd of foreign people all the way there.
Walked past the bridge and passed some stall selling Kelly Clarkson tags at RM10 each. Being gazi, he asked the most.. Gazi-ish question "Free kah?" By then we were almost there, Gazi started walking with a skip to his step (COUGH COUGH)! Met up with Itianne and Amanda once we reached. They weren't that hard to spot, Itianne's bag sticks out like white on black :D.
Wasn't as big a crowd as I had initially expected, then again it was only around 7pm. The concert starts at 8 so I doubt people will show up until around 7.55. Met a couple of fellow Sunway UC students, though I don't really know them. Waited around, got some posters, some of the usual concert stuff, those big hand thingys and the blow up pair of whack each other balloons. Suddenly...
"MARI MARI STREAMYX FREE MODEM, NO CONTRACT, JUST SIGN UP AND PAY RM150" And guess who the guy had his sights on while screaming that.. yep, us. Oh snap. We paid him no attention and kept walking but.. "EH TUNGGU *Repeats*" Non-stop, harassing.. GAZI.. LOL out of 7 of us, he was the only one being harassed :D
7.30, time to get in.
*will edit post sometime later, no time to finish it up now :P*
Anticipation filled me as I counted down the seconds.
Met up with Gazi, Limei and Jon at KK McD around 4. Had to belanja SOMEONE McFlurry, and order for that SOMEONE as well cause SOMEONE lazy to walk :P. Left KK around 4.50 and headed to Indah Parade, well.. I think that's in Bukit Jalil (is it? my geography's horrible) to meet up with Prem. Walked around in circles, and circles, trying to decide what to eat. Ended up at Esquire Kitchen, somehow. The waiter looked like WK O__O LOL. Same manner of speech, demeanor. The only thing he lacked to complete the wk look was the fail aura.
By then, Itianne and Amanda had already reached the place. They took the LRT. So we left the moment we were done eating. Then.. we.. WALKED to the stadium. Which wasn't THAT bad.. after how Limei EXAGGERATED the walking distance. It was prolly the same as my house to high school, less than 10 minutes worth of walking. And boy, were there a LOT of stadiums. Looked around.. "AHAH! That one! It looks the most fancy! Look! Foreign people!" LOL
So we just followed the crowd of foreign people all the way there.
Walked past the bridge and passed some stall selling Kelly Clarkson tags at RM10 each. Being gazi, he asked the most.. Gazi-ish question "Free kah?" By then we were almost there, Gazi started walking with a skip to his step (COUGH COUGH)! Met up with Itianne and Amanda once we reached. They weren't that hard to spot, Itianne's bag sticks out like white on black :D.
Wasn't as big a crowd as I had initially expected, then again it was only around 7pm. The concert starts at 8 so I doubt people will show up until around 7.55. Met a couple of fellow Sunway UC students, though I don't really know them. Waited around, got some posters, some of the usual concert stuff, those big hand thingys and the blow up pair of whack each other balloons. Suddenly...
"MARI MARI STREAMYX FREE MODEM, NO CONTRACT, JUST SIGN UP AND PAY RM150" And guess who the guy had his sights on while screaming that.. yep, us. Oh snap. We paid him no attention and kept walking but.. "EH TUNGGU *Repeats*" Non-stop, harassing.. GAZI.. LOL out of 7 of us, he was the only one being harassed :D
7.30, time to get in.
*will edit post sometime later, no time to finish it up now :P*
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Remember all the things we wanted
So tired, just got back from Kelly Clarkson! WOOOOOOO
T'was a good night :)
Don't kill me for this short update. I'll write more soon when I get the pics :)
T'was a good night :)
Don't kill me for this short update. I'll write more soon when I get the pics :)
Now I can't breathe
Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces.
Familiar, no?
Heading out to KELLY CLARKSON soon :P
This is it, uncharted territory from here on end. Everything amounts to this one day.
Familiar, no?
Heading out to KELLY CLARKSON soon :P
This is it, uncharted territory from here on end. Everything amounts to this one day.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Take a glance
Finally, I'm halfway through the week. This week feels longer than normal.. somewhat.. Had my bio lab examination yesterday. For the 1st time ever, I got the microscope to work!! :DDDDD
Oh yay! It went well, feel confident about my results for that :)
Today, had my Chemistry presentation worth 5% of internal. Oh gosh, every time a presentation is due, my knees get weak, and I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach. The nerves are killin' me, literally. Well, got everything sorted out with my fellow groupmates and waited for our turn. Somehow I felt that ours was quite short compared to almost every other group. My parts lasted less than 3 minutes. Oh gosh, hopefully that doesn't take a toll of my marks :(
Tomorrow? Bio Topic Test 1! OH GAWD! I have absolutely no idea where it is! Hahah, and I did minimal studying. Ahuh, I'm so SCREWED.
In unrelated news, :)
Oh yay! It went well, feel confident about my results for that :)
Today, had my Chemistry presentation worth 5% of internal. Oh gosh, every time a presentation is due, my knees get weak, and I get that uneasy feeling in my stomach. The nerves are killin' me, literally. Well, got everything sorted out with my fellow groupmates and waited for our turn. Somehow I felt that ours was quite short compared to almost every other group. My parts lasted less than 3 minutes. Oh gosh, hopefully that doesn't take a toll of my marks :(
Tomorrow? Bio Topic Test 1! OH GAWD! I have absolutely no idea where it is! Hahah, and I did minimal studying. Ahuh, I'm so SCREWED.
In unrelated news, :)
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
We reap what we sow
Hari Anugerah Cemerlang, the day the top scorers for PMR, SPM, and the top students from each class in each form is honoured. So yeah, that's.. that.
ANYWAYS! It was quite the long day. I hate waking up early on Saturdays, it's one of the only 2 days I can actually sleep in late :(. Woke up at about 7, got ready, left the house at 7.45. Why so early? I had to go pick Gazi up, (but why? he has nth to do with the day :P) then went to pick up Limei and get to school by 8 to register. Gazi got halau-ed (again) LOL. Waited for Gyn-Nett then went to McD for breakfast with Jon, Hy and Ky.
Dropped Gazi back at his house and what'ya know.. "DEY WHRS MY WALLET?" Oh damn, rushed all the way back to McD, luckily he managed to get his wallet back. Then rushed back to school for the event. It had already started but hey, it's still the speeches. There's ALWAYS long speeches for events like this. When things finally got started, the awards were given out to F1, F2, F4 first, and gawd were there A LOT of classes! Luckily the dewan was.. quite.. cooling.
Three cheers for working fans :D oh of course I was being pestered the whole time.
NIRMAL! TOP SCORER :DDDDD
All of us :)
ANYWAYS! It was quite the long day. I hate waking up early on Saturdays, it's one of the only 2 days I can actually sleep in late :(. Woke up at about 7, got ready, left the house at 7.45. Why so early? I had to go pick Gazi up, (but why? he has nth to do with the day :P) then went to pick up Limei and get to school by 8 to register. Gazi got halau-ed (again) LOL. Waited for Gyn-Nett then went to McD for breakfast with Jon, Hy and Ky.
Dropped Gazi back at his house and what'ya know.. "DEY WHRS MY WALLET?" Oh damn, rushed all the way back to McD, luckily he managed to get his wallet back. Then rushed back to school for the event. It had already started but hey, it's still the speeches. There's ALWAYS long speeches for events like this. When things finally got started, the awards were given out to F1, F2, F4 first, and gawd were there A LOT of classes! Luckily the dewan was.. quite.. cooling.
Three cheers for working fans :D oh of course I was being pestered the whole time.
NIRMAL! TOP SCORER :DDDDD
All of us :)After getting our awards, went back to OUR spot. :)
Oh I just miss the stairs :D
Then went back into our old class and saw a nostalgic sight.
Hmm.. looks normal right..
A close-up. NOW do you see anything? :D
LUNCH AT KFC WOOOOOO!
Credits to YK and Shaun for the pics.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Toss of a coin
Today, I managed to hold my composure. Although it hurt inside ):
Those words cut like a knife, it felt as though someone had driven a stake through me.
Maybe it wasn't intentional, but I took it that way. I think they know, they should.
Then again, who am I to bother?
In unrelated news, today was the EALD essay task given to us THREE MONTHS AGO! So yeah, being my usual lazy ass, only started preparing for it.. last week. Screwed up.. BAD.. BYEBYE 20% :)
I miss how things were barely a month ago, there's such a HUGE contrast to how they are now. You were alot more lively :(
Those words cut like a knife, it felt as though someone had driven a stake through me.
Maybe it wasn't intentional, but I took it that way. I think they know, they should.
Then again, who am I to bother?
In unrelated news, today was the EALD essay task given to us THREE MONTHS AGO! So yeah, being my usual lazy ass, only started preparing for it.. last week. Screwed up.. BAD.. BYEBYE 20% :)
I miss how things were barely a month ago, there's such a HUGE contrast to how they are now. You were alot more lively :(
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Anxious and paranoid
Paranoia, a sense of utter dread, which leads to shutting myself completely from the outside world. I despise this feeling.
In 4 hours I said less than 20 words, shows how bad I feel today.
Why does this happen everytime smth goes smoothly?
I pretend to not notice you, but I do.
I fake distraction to avoid you, but I cringe in pain later.
I try to keep walking, but my feet are frozen in place.
I look away, but I turn back to see you.
You knock me down and bring me up again.
My heart skips a beat at the sight of you.
It's been a short while, but you've made it all worth it. But no, not yet.
I'll make my move soon, wait for me. (:
It comes down to petty jealously, oh how did I fall this low?
In 4 hours I said less than 20 words, shows how bad I feel today.
Why does this happen everytime smth goes smoothly?
I pretend to not notice you, but I do.
I fake distraction to avoid you, but I cringe in pain later.
I try to keep walking, but my feet are frozen in place.
I look away, but I turn back to see you.
You knock me down and bring me up again.
My heart skips a beat at the sight of you.
It's been a short while, but you've made it all worth it. But no, not yet.
I'll make my move soon, wait for me. (:
It comes down to petty jealously, oh how did I fall this low?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Lie awake all night staring back at you
Hopefully ranting would improve my mood. I'm in none to go to sleep right now. Sigh.
Envy is acting up again, although it's pretty normal.. I guess. Perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive, well. *shrugs*. I don't like any of em 1 bit though. I seriously have to put personal prejudices aside.
That aside, sometimes I wonder why do I bother digging through old stuff, though they're not necessarily mine. Heh, I remember a time where I would just collapse.. literally. That's how bad it used to be. Hah, I really let it show. It's all passed now, for that I'm grateful. But I won't deny that it was pretty um.. um.. Ah nvm I can't find any words to put it.
Looking back, I had no idea what I was thinking.. Or maybe I did, who wouldn't be interested? ;)
But now, I know VERY WELL.. What I'm hoping for (:
Maybe things will work out my way, for once.
Sighhhhhhhhh, oh yeah that was a good rant (:
ARGH I HATE THIS FEELING
Envy is acting up again, although it's pretty normal.. I guess. Perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive, well. *shrugs*. I don't like any of em 1 bit though. I seriously have to put personal prejudices aside.
That aside, sometimes I wonder why do I bother digging through old stuff, though they're not necessarily mine. Heh, I remember a time where I would just collapse.. literally. That's how bad it used to be. Hah, I really let it show. It's all passed now, for that I'm grateful. But I won't deny that it was pretty um.. um.. Ah nvm I can't find any words to put it.
Looking back, I had no idea what I was thinking.. Or maybe I did, who wouldn't be interested? ;)
But now, I know VERY WELL.. What I'm hoping for (:
Maybe things will work out my way, for once.
Sighhhhhhhhh, oh yeah that was a good rant (:
ARGH I HATE THIS FEELING
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sigh
A good day that began on an excellent note, and ended horribly.
But thanks to those who were there :)
But thanks to those who were there :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Catching Up
Fine, I'll write a proper update.
So it's been awhile.. I guess? It's been a very BUSY and STRESSFUL week. ARGH~!
Had my EALD forum on Friday. I'd rather not get into the details.. A "High B"? I think.. Well.. *shrugs*
Bio and Phy topic tests coming up. Should I be more worried?
The weekends have been pretty uneventful, I prefer weekdays now. Least I get to see family <3
In unrelated issues, slowly turning emo again, always happens. But maybe this time it'll stop.
Why am I writing 1 liners?
I do not know.
So it's been awhile.. I guess? It's been a very BUSY and STRESSFUL week. ARGH~!
Had my EALD forum on Friday. I'd rather not get into the details.. A "High B"? I think.. Well.. *shrugs*
Bio and Phy topic tests coming up. Should I be more worried?
The weekends have been pretty uneventful, I prefer weekdays now. Least I get to see family <3
In unrelated issues, slowly turning emo again, always happens. But maybe this time it'll stop.
Why am I writing 1 liners?
I do not know.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A world we think we own
When you kill me, please do it slowly.
Today was messed up, seriously messed up. Everything went wrong.
I hate not being able to help, especially when everyone else is. When I do try, I never ever make any impact. I feel like I'm completely useless to..
Maybe I'll go into one of those depressive states again.
Why? :(
Today was messed up, seriously messed up. Everything went wrong.
I hate not being able to help, especially when everyone else is. When I do try, I never ever make any impact. I feel like I'm completely useless to..
Maybe I'll go into one of those depressive states again.
Why? :(
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
iPhone iPlan
Anyone interested in getting an iPhone? Just sign up for iPlan and DiGi!
If you're interested, then let me know which plan you're interested in :D
And I'll see what I can do :D
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Incapacitated
It's times like this that I start to doubt my choices. These 3 months have been thrown down the drain, I should've thought it through clearly.
Everyone's not doing anything except for screwing up my day, and only 1 is actually doing the opposite. And for that, I thank you. :)
Everyone's not doing anything except for screwing up my day, and only 1 is actually doing the opposite. And for that, I thank you. :)
Insubstantial
A temporary distraction, which I may probably never ever come across again.
Well, t'was a good 5 seconds, which I won't forget :)
Well, t'was a good 5 seconds, which I won't forget :)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Suddenly we're running out of time
I get jealous, more often than I like.
My composure is shaken way too easily.
The darker side of me that I'd hope I'd never see again, is showing itself. Guess it's back to how everything used to be, or rather how I used to act.
My composure is shaken way too easily.
The darker side of me that I'd hope I'd never see again, is showing itself. Guess it's back to how everything used to be, or rather how I used to act.
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