Doodle #49 : In Motion

Something's happened.

I can't quite describe it in words.

Doodle #48 : Come Clean

I have to admit, this feeling dwindles with the passing of time.

In a parallel dimension, the 3 of us were together again. I felt happy to see the both of you happy. Everything seemed so right.

Then I woke up. And for once, I wasn't overcomed by malice, but a sense of longing. For the vision to come true.

Do I dare pick up the shards of the past? To do so would be an invitation to peruse my emotions again.

For now, I'm contempt. :)

Doodle #47 : Plundered

For what it's worth, it'll always be a memory.

I'd like to start this post on a lighter note. I'm progressing into the end of Week 4 for my B.Pharm course. It's been good really. My peers are an interesting bunch, and there hasn't been a single dull day since the course began. Of course, not taking into account some of the lectures we've to sit through. I realized I never really got into the details of what I've to learn so I shall do so in this post.

Firstly, there's Physiology.
In other words, a unit dedicated to the processes within the human body, etc. In short, it's Biology. Macromolecules, biochemistry, cells and tissue, gene replication, you know the drill. I've a notion that this will be one of my lower scoring units. I never got along with Biology.

Then, there's Organic Chemistry.
It's safe to say that I feel completely at home with this unit. Sure, there's the occasional bouts of overconfidence as I scoff at what we've to learn. I realize that. Now, I find myself stumbling in Chemistry. It's the first time I've felt this way since I was first introduced to the subject back in high school, where I would fail almost every exam. It's a good change though, I'm finally getting into the good stuff. Aromatic compounds and whatnot. I've a lot of catching up to do to regain that confidence I once exuded. On the bright side, it's a challenge I'm psyched to take up. :)

Next, Physicochemical basis of Pharmacology. (I think that's what it's called)
Yes, I know my units THAT well. Never really took note of what the unit is called but basically, it comprises of several sections. Maths, Ionic Equilibrium, Acids and Bases, etc. It's like a mash-up of Chemistry and Mathematics. A challenging unit nevertheless, I've my work cut out for me.

Finally, my fourth unit for the first semester, Pharmacy, Health and Society.
Otherwise, HISTORY and LAW. Nuff' said.

Frankly, I really like the fact that my intake is a small group. 51 of us together for the next 4 years. :)

That aside, I've been trying to write again. It hasn't been a successful attempt. I've yet to find my spark after it's been snuffed out. Here goes,

Blinded by vehemence,
Rage and fury renders the soul sightless,
Conviction came to naught as prudence vanished,
Ardor and abhorrence waged a war within.

What have we become?
We sought to conquer the world,
Only fragments of what once was remains,
A stagnant reminder that nothing is ever perpetual.

Anguish returns me to darker times,
I long for the sight of your lifeless vessel,
Plundered of life,
As you have plundered mine.

A far cry from my previous style of writing.

Note, I'm merely channeling out thoughts of what was an inadequate end. It wasn't justified, no it wasn't.

As of now, I'm enjoying life. :)

Doodle #46 : Rememberance

All this while I've been trying to get a hold on that other side of me. To garner inspiration for my writing. To plunge my thoughts into despair consciously wasn't something I had attempted before. To do so willingly was beyond any reason. Despite that, it appears as though that side of me has been sealed off. Sealed by time itself.

Even plunging my thoughts back to the library to the event that transpired that fateful day didn't work.

In a way, it's a good thing. Or maybe I just wasn't looking in the right places.

Nevertheless, my procrastination continues.

Doodle #45 : Sentinel

The hours drag on. Try as I might, I feel that I'm being led down the same path. Every step a leap of faith amidst darkness, illuminated only for that split second as I trod down along it.

That makes it 3 weeks. So far, so good. I don't really know how much should I be panicking for the Week 4, or if I should bother panicking at all. Live in the moment. That's what I've been taught. True to its words, it feels as though all the burdens of yesterday and those coming are non-existent. A truly pleasing thought.

I miss our old gang. They hold the key to that other side of me.

Ranting aside, it's time to get down to the day's activitys. I had to list them someplace to ensure I won't forget.

- Maths tute 2
- Experiment C's report
- PHS essay
- Biochem? tute
- Chemistry tute
- HoN / Halo

Perhaps I'll get myself a new template and background. I've been getting a lot of comments regarding how depressing my site is to people. A view that I'll concur with. But that's a side of me I want to put down and leave behind.

Doodle #44

I shall leave this post unnamed. First and foremost, I apologize for the long delay between this and the previous post. Can't say that I've been given any inspiration nor drive to keep my page updated the past week. It's been assignments, assignments and more assignments.

NO IT WAS NOT PROCRASTINATION.

I'm now reaching the end of my third official week of being a Monash-ian studying Pharmacy. How's my experience been so far? Well.. It's a farcry from anything I've ever been through, that's for sure. Then again, it does have its fair share of similarities to my college days.

I'm relieved to say that I've finished work on one of my various assignments, leaving 2 more due later on this semester.

That's about it. For now.

Doodle #43 : Procrastination

I really need to get my work started and stop procrastinating my procrastination.

Yet, I've been unable to find the will and/or drive to propel me through endless hours of research and sifting through it.

Better still, the guilt of putting work off has been haunting me since the very first week.

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

I shall now deviate from the norm of my writing styles and blog about something completely random. Well, I've gotta find something to pass the time, besides doing assignments.

Today's agenda? Well.. I'll just briefly pen down the views and perspective as a gamer, as I watch fellow gamers go about their business (playing certain games). I'll be specifically focusing on FPS genres and the 'rush' or whatever feeling you get as you play the role of the spectator.

Mind you, this will be very brief.

So you're watching someone play.. Halo for instance. Guns blazing, plasma flying everywhere, covenant aliens trying to gut you with big blazing swords and whatnot.

Thing is..

You're watching someone play it spraying Assault Rifle rounds like nobody's business with an accuracy below 30%.

On Easy.

You'd feel like stabbing him in the back and just wrenching that remote away from him to show him how it's done.

On the other hand, if it's someone GOOD.. Above 90% accuracy with let's say, sniper rifle unscoped.

You'd be wowed.

RIGHT?

K blardy nonsense post. I really should stop procrastinating my procrastination and begin work on assignments.

Doodle #42 : Wheels

Finally drove to university after a grand total of 11 days not being behind the wheel. Felt good. It's only after you lose something you've had for a while now that you truly realize how important that thing is to you. In this case, it was my car. :)

Amongst other things.

Doodle #41 : Disconnected

At times, I feel so lost.

I miss college, and them and how I'm able to act completely stupid and not bother.

12 months on, it still lingers.