The Final Hurdle

Yes, tomorrow will be my last official day in college and my second last official day as an AusMatian from Sunway University College in 2010. It's amazing at times how time just seems to pass you by effortlessly, or seamlessly? Either way, I can't seem to recall how the year just flew by me without even giving me the slightest chance to realize it. Apart from the suppressed memories, I can't remember anything much from the year, once again, as with every year I seem to complain about.

But now that I think about it, it's kinda sad how the bulk of the year revolved around a petty issue. Rather, THE petty issue. It's not often that the walls I've built around those thoughts come down. I guess everyone's entitled to have a complete emotional breakdown shed a tear or two every so often.

The first hello, the jokes, the rain, the laughter. They seem so long ago now. I really was a fool.

Yadaa, yadaa, yadaa. I can go on and on, but let's not. Maybe it's just me, but the fact that my views on this whole thing changes on a daily basis and fluctuating between eternal hatred and unconditional forgiveness is really starting to get on my nerves. Which do I choose?

Back to more pressing issues... As the title implies, YES! Tomorrow is my FINAL exam for my FINALS this year and it is my FINAL official day in college. Yeah, sure I'll visit friends there every once in a while but it ain't gonna be no official day. By then, I'll just be another ordinary visitor, a passerby, another face in the crowd. Meh.

The only thing that stands between me, and what I really hope to be a clear blue and calming sky.. is Chemistry. A subject dearest to me. As such, I can only hope for the best tomorrow and pray that nothing goes wrong. It's the main subject that I'm banking on to pull up my already dwindling ATAR score. I've had bad experiences before with Chemistry, and they weren't pretty. *crosses fingers*

The riskiest part about this now is that I'm going into the exam with minimal preparation. There hasn't been much time to prepare as I had with all the other examinations due to the packed schedule. I only managed to squeeze in about an hour or two of Chem this morning before it was Bio all the way. Been focusing too much on the other subjects, Maths especially. Look where that's gotten me.

Unrelated, I can't believe I froze up. I wanted to open my mouth to speak but I just couldn't find the words. All I could do was watch it slip.

Another unrelated issue, after tomorrow. I never, ever, ever, EVER, have to see that face again (refer to conflicting emotions on how to settle this issue from above), at least not till that day. But I'll act out one last play, my final one as a person who once used to be a friend. Now, I'm certain I'm just trash to that person.

To all fellow AusMatians, good luck for Chemistry!! Especially the 9 people taking the exam with me, my dearest friends (and family) that I've had the privilege to meet and befriend this year. You guys changed the world for me. (:

Well, it's been a blast.

I don't regret AusMat one bit, cept for a couple of kinks. <3