Buzzkill

That was exactly the spark I needed.

My mind shudders at the cold, my body turns ice cold. Was it really that thoughtless? It felt like such an easy thing to do, a rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins, urging me forward. A senseless act, done without regard to the consequences afterward. Completely disregarding everything but instant gratification, I did what I did.

I claim all culpability for my deeds. I won't deny what I did. A self-centred act of merriment. True, I've found the spark I was pursuing, but was it worth it? A feeling I long for, a sentiment long forgotten, to get one's blood boiling as ice cold blood flows through every inch of your conscious mind and thought. Contradictions they may be, but those words ring true.

Some say that time is the greatest medicine for any wound. Inexplicably, time is capable of the complete opposite. Nonchalantly breaking bonds between people, lending a helping hand to ever growing rifts. Time gives, and time takes. Powerless as we are, we can do nothing but stand by and watch it work its malice.

Straightforwardly, I loathe you, you hold a disdain towards me. Sounds unproblematic enough. I apologize for my outwardly tactless act. That is but all the penitence I have left within me.

What drives me? Incentives are non-existent to me. Give or take, it may be that whatever remorse in me has been ripped out of my soul. The world is divided into two, those that conform with you, and those who don't. I played with fire, and I got scorched.

It just goes to show, watch what you say and what you do. Every living moment of every single day, people are scrutinizing you. All it takes it one slip for you to get devoured in this world. A world where friendships mean nothing and bonds are but a thing of the past. Nothing matters anymore except individual gain. Those around you are only there for themselves.

To find a person who's truly there for you is is an atypical occurrence. Cherish those people.