Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Walk Away

Seconds pass, bits and pieces of what remained of my sanity flashed past. A blurry whirl of images. To be paranoid, is to be untrustworthy. To shove everything, all the blame onto the shoulder's of others is nothing more than cowardice, a refusal to accept that one is inferior, useless to everyone around oneself. What have I done?

Reality snaps back, no longer am I caught amidst hatred, vengeance. All that's left of me now is humiliation, shock, a sense of utter betrayal of one's dear friend. I'm not worthy of forgiveness. No. I was too easily swayed, a fragile disposition. Everything fit, a little too perfectly. The fact that someone shared my opinion cemented my thoughts. I was firm in my stand, disregarding the sense of trust I once had. Truly, I am a joke. Always have been, always will be. Since that day 2 years back, I've lost everything that meant anything to me.

How exactly does one disappear from this world without causing too much fuss afterward. Some people have said true peace comes in death, and yet I'm a coward for not being able to face the pain that comes with it. Sadly, there's no actual painless way to go.

It was MY fault in the end.

The silence has taken it's toll. I've gone insane.

I cannot ask that you forgive me, only that you forget me.
-FFX-2

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