A Wall Between Us

Feeling like this could only mean I'm sinking. The same things always happen when you're gone. All of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever she may be. It keeps me here when all I wanna do is dissappear. I still remember the time where this all felt like a dream. We held the world out in our hands, and you ran away. If it's a broken heart, then face it. I won't get used to this. If I say I'm okay, I'm also a lier. Even if we can or can't be friends, I'll be with you till the very end. Sometimes I wish I'd never met you. I need an ending, so why can't you stay just long enough to explain.

-Misc lyrics.

I'm beginning to think that my fears are not that far-fetched after all. It doesn't take a food to put all the pieces together, misfitting as they may be. The times she acted so distant, the doubts, the way she often held back. Something was up. There's an awful feeling in my gut, then again it had never been right before. Of all times, please don't be right now.

It used to feel so at ease, so comfortable, so.. right. Where has all of that gone? Life, love, laughs, they start to swirl in a never ending whirlpool. The line between everything is blurred. I'm starting to lose sight in everything that means anything to me, faith is slowly fading. Falling apart, as each piece of my soul falls into darkness, again. Only this time, the very reason why I'm falling might be the most painful one of all.

You brought me out of my suffering. You taught me how to live life with a smile. You taught me how to laugh like I really meant it. You brought the very best out of me. Now, you've driven a blade straight through me and left me to bleed. To die, a pain, slow and agonizing death.

Both sides of the story in my head conflict, waging a never ending war. One tells me to push on, the other tells me to drop everything and move on. Neither wants to give in. You pull me in, then you push me away, fueling my doubts, my agony. You hold the answers I need, but fear has me in a deadlock, keeping me in place, immobilized and unable to voice out my deepest thoughts, my most sincere feelings, the depth of my affection towards you.

This feeling runs deeper than anything in the world. It binds me to you, stronger than gravity. I would drop everything else, just for you had you asked for anything.

Nothing beats the feeling of your soul running through your entire body, as you really pour your heart out while listening to depressing songs.