Saturday, August 6, 2011

Doodle #113 : Old Habits Die Hard

Have I ever mentioned that I never really liked holidays?

Weekends = Holidays.

You get the point.

Kicking off today's post.. More ranting! I'll get onto writing yesterday's surprise party for blondie in a bit. For now, I'll stick to my monotonous and monologous rants which nobody seems to care about.

Okay, maybe I am a bit.. clingy. It's all a matter of Dependency (rofl). Part of me really isn't too surprised at the accusation. I've been known to stick around a bit too much for my own good. In hindsight, I've been here before. Back then, I really did look like I was with one of my friends (from the outside). The matter's all cleared up now. Only that I've begun yet another issue. It's only right that I clear up this misunderstanding, despite some who aren't really bothered to hear me out.

That aside, recent events have brought out a side of me I thought was long gone. A persona, fearful of what the future may bring, shaped by the past, and worried about the present. Call it conditioning if you want. They say you learn from your mistakes, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

But does it really?

Another point to note is that I seem to have reignited some of my flair for writing. By that, I'm referring to the manner in which I denote my blog posts. The only setback is that it means I've unlocked someone I was determined to seal away.

You can clearly see the increasingly stark details written between the lines. Glaring disparities. Well, I no longer have to consult my thesaurus. Somewhat.

For the coming weekend, I shall do my absolute best to stay away from my more.. less happy songs. Ironically, my playlist seems to want to pick a fight with me. Been pressing the 'Next' button for awhile now and I'm seeing nothing but sad songs come up on my WMP.

Yet again, I woke up at 7:00ish. Well aware of the time and my inability to fall asleep again. Took me a good 30 minutes to shut my mind down and head back to my alternate reality.

Suppressed desires manifesting themselves in the form of dreams. The same setting, only with different characters. Looping.

Action speaks volume. Lack of it only incites silence. One of my better known weaknesses, I begin the descent. At times, it feels like I'm looking in from the outside. Everything is the same, and yet nothing is.

Pessimist, idealist, melancholic. Id, ego, superego. The fire burns on.

My college bestie was right. I'd make a really good Psychology test subject. ._. I really have to stop procrastinating. The only question is, have I put things off way too long?

Hahahah. I should keep myself busy for now. I guess. Hopefully I'll be able to complete part of my research today. There's no gratification quite like the satisfaction of a job well done.

Y'know. I think Psychology really fascinates me. The applied side, having had so many of those random discussion with my friends who took that subject then. Was never a fan of the theoretical side. Hahh. Well.. Just remember to,

Smile. :)

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