I really don't think I'm acting my age. Despite being 19 already, I probably still have the mentality of a 16 year old. It's not just me being young at heart, no. I've yet to learn what there is to life. I'm too caught up in my self-delusional wants to see the bigger picture.
Sometimes I just feel like I get this epiphany. A sudden realization of great truth. It never ceases to amaze me, how some of my friends speak as though they're already been through the tougher hardships in life. When they speak, you can't help but notice the mature intonation used
:')
Yet, here I am. Still a kid. Still so full of myself. One of my friends said the time will come for me to achieve a realization. Maybe it'll come soon. I shouldn't be so preoccupied with what life offers me, but what I can offer with life.
I want to be part of something larger than myself. To have a purpose.
Right now, I just want to get a place in the exchange. To achieve it, it'll take me two solid years of dedication and hard work. Being as incompetent and unfocused as I am, I can only hope this dying resolve of mine is enough to pull me through.
Flip the switch, let my other side show. For all this side of me is concerned with is self indulgence, nothing more. Exuberance will be shielded from the outside world, till the day comes that it'll show itself again.
For the moment, it's time to resign to my work. I'll try to complete as much as I can without being the freeloader I usually am. I take pride in my work, in getting a job well done.
'cause that's all I have left to live for.
Ramblings of a university student.
Kinoc, out.
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