A Concoction of Lust

Mixed with a malignant intent.

We don't talk as often as we used to. I'm actually pained by that fact. The laughs, the jokes, they all used to be second nature, they came naturally at some point. What happened?

I miss the old times, the hyperness, the sense of comfort, it just felt so right. I was at ease, with no care in the world. What mattered was the moment, not the passed nor the future. To live in the moment was to be alive.

Now, everything feels so odd. I can't string together any coherent sentences, all I'm able to manage is a few grumbles that may or may not go unnoticed when I speak.

I don't know what this feeling is, the only thing I'm certain of is that I've some form of attachment, even dependence, and I don't wanna lose it. I feel broken, like a piece of me is missing. I miss you, I truly do, in an odd way. I want you there, yet I don't for I fear that I'll be a burden. The conscience that I had always confided in.

I'm perpetually at a tug of war. When I get drawn to one side, I begin to distance myself from the other. Ever since the split way back, everything's been divided into two, connections are still there but nothing's truly whole.

It's true that I get attached easily. Way too easily for my own good, way too easily for anyone's good. A friendship that's starting to wear out and lose it's luster.

But enough bout that, went out for a snack very early dinner at SS15.

Carmen and Kah Mun, my two AusMat sisters. (:

That concludes today's post. I'm off to Pizza Hut in about 30 minutes before heading over to Jon's place. :D