I Reiterate

But compared to that, you're amazing..

I never thought I'd panic this much thinking that I had lost that. Frantically, I looked through my drawer only to find it pinned under everything else I had tossed on top of it nonchalantly.

I feel the tug again. The guilt.

Being harsh is hard on myself too. The amount of effort it takes to maintain composure. At times it came naturally, other times it felt as though I was pushing myself to be someone I'm not. I was going against my very personality.

I wonder at times too why do I go to such lengths to keep myself at a distance.

I guess the saying's true. You can never throw everything away. So I do the next viable option on my mind..

Bottle everything up, and hope it dies someday.

I've went too far back for my own good, my other half bears its fangs, waiting to pounce and take over my conscience again. This is what I get when I let down my guard and be nice.

I can remember almost everything now, down to the smallest details.

One by one, the days are returning to my mind despite any attempts to repulse them.

I don't wanna go back to that pathetic state I was once in, helpless and vulnerable. To be turned into a puppet again..

I don't.