Leave It

Stagnant air fills my lungs.

The atmosphere feels heavy, weighed down by the tension, the awkwardness. I open my mouth to speak but I only manage silence. Fragments of my thoughts, bits and pieces of words, stringed together in a feeble attempt to form a barely tangible sentence. The words comes out in chunks, the intonation's weak as I will myself to be more than myself.

Futile indeed.

My soul's exposed, susceptible once more to the blades as the dagger's hilt is being driven into me. The blow I once suffered is more than just skin deep. It shattered my very core. I could feel nothing, I could see nothing, all I felt was what I heard, the screeching laughter piercing the air, mocking how far I've fallen. Faceless silhouettes, resembling those I thought I knew surround me cutting off any escape. I held my head down in defeat. Defeat, that I had snatched from the jaws of victory.

Indifference, I've been called cold on many occasions but nothing comes close to how much this one stung.

With exam's looming at the corner, there's no time for soul searching. But I know, I found one of my missing pieces back, to dwell on my thoughts, those way past their expiration dates. (:

Grey clouds are forming on my horizon again, the light is fading. The light that I've trying to reach, never able to grasp.

It should have been a good day. Should.

The stupid lectures I've had to endure. The vanity and conceitedness, why on earth hadn't I stopped myself then? Coming across a reference really shakes me.